Please note this is not completed yet
I consider myself to be innovative, forward thinking, very unique and quite the rebel. I was diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) at the age of 7, which I am currently self managing. However, I see this mental health condition as something beneficial due to my brain wiring though it does have its disadvantages but I have learnt various coping methods. I didn’t have the easiest of times growing up in the world and was subjected to heavy bullying due to my differences which led to a period of isolation from the outside world….
I see similarities here to the phoenix when it dies and is then reborn from the ashes… and after such a long period of doing nothing except computing and with no self esteem or confidence, I threw a u-turn and went to college. From college I went on to study something I’ve always been passionate about: electronics. I started a electronic engineering course, after a few months I then got involved in karate at a local centre which boosted my confidence and self esteem even further. I started to build muscle mass and started looking after myself more. One day at karate I remember asking my sensei how I could further improve my flexibility and he said about gymnastics. Coincidentally, at the same centre I learnt that there was a trampolining/gymnastics class running before karate, so being curious I enquired and then joined. During those 2 years on the electronics course I excelled, getting distinction in both years, as well as making new friends. However fate had different things planned…
When I started gymnastics I completely fell in love with the sport. I reached a high level of technical ability in a short time and was entered into competitions where I usually made podium. At my peak I was competing at national level in men’s artistic gymnastics. From this I found dance, I would watch the girls perform their routines which was full of dance (men’s floor routines consist of 10 moves with no dance at all which was borderline robotic), I then entered into something called Gymfusion which combines choreography and makes it a more fun show. Gymnastics tends to be a very competitive environment and I met some very influential people during my time like the worlds oldest gymnast, I also photographed the Olympic Japanese and American men’s artistic gymnastics squads and have even trained alongside members of the group Diversity. I gained so much strength and body confidence and also started teaching as a way to fund the amount of hours I put into training, however injuries were starting to rack up.
My time on the electronics course was closing… What to do next I asked myself, now curious about dance I enquired for the dance courses at the same college… when interviewed, the course leaders were baffled by my sudden turn around: I wanted to fill the hole that gymnastics wasn’t. I was accepted and enrolled with no previous dance experience and electronics was dropped, also karate was also dropped. I knew little did of what I was really doing and I just riding what felt right. Once I started the course, gymnastics also started to slow down.
When I started dance we had different classes we would do (ballet, contemporary, tap, jazz and street dance) and I quickly learnt which ones I wasn’t fond of. I very much enjoyed ballet and contemporary though, something so restrictive and then something very free.. At first I was crap and almost gave up a few times… however I didn’t and I studied dance for over 3 years where I grew very quickly in technique; I would use most of my student finance to fund external class’s at Danceworks and Pineapple studios. The beauty I learnt is being able to use movements to show emotion, however I was rather bad at showing facial expression and when presented with solo choreography I finally became able to. One day during a gymnastics class I suffered a injury that ended my peak level and now I put all focus into dance. My passion was so strong that I wanted to become a professional dancer and did audition at a few of the top contemporary schools, unfortunately I had never really recovered from the injury. However I had some opportunities that were amazing, my highlight was being invited to a company class with Balletboyz and being awarded most improved student.
What happens next is where I really start hitting the peaks of my confidence. A friend I had made while on the electronics course had gone into doing photography and had asked me to model for him, when I saw the images he produced, well guess what, I found another wave to jump upon and I joined sites like model Mayhem and Purpleport, I attracted a fair bit of attention and it made me very body confident. My 3rd shoot I was involved with was when I was given a ultimatum (I had been wanting to go to a fetish club since turning 18 but I wasn’t that confident, especially sexually etc), this shoot happened to be with a pro-domme who wanted me to then pose as her sub… she asked me if i would like to be her plus one to a club called Antichrist, I said I would think about it and half hour after the shoot I sent her a message to say yes. i’ll take it as it seemed I was being given a reason to be there… At the club she asked if I would like to join her on stage (I didn’t know what for at this point but just said yes and I suspect I now know why she had kept it vague ahaha). I literally now at that point in life learnt to just accept anything that intrigued me and then follow where it goes rather then sit on it and wonder what if…
I had gotten myself my first latex catsuit for my birthday from Libidex while they had a sale and I got back from my shoot packed and ready to leave. I was super anxious but once there I calmed down, I met her once dressed and we went to the edge of the stage, this is when I found out what I was being involved in… It was called Satans strip tease and we were first on (I didnt even get a chance to see what to expect at this point) she then commanded me to strip her bit by bit on stage (in my head i pretended its just another dance piece or gymnastics competition), it all went fine, I really enjoyed myself and this was the start of a completely new part of my life.
I had originally intended to go to London Alternative Market which was the day after Antichrist as a more gentle approach, however wave riding had always proved the best for me. When I got to LAM people had recognised me from the performance and started asking questions. Most notably from here the photographer that had shot me at Antichrist on stage and his partner essentially took me under their wing. I was literally thrown in the deep end from there and was being invited to all these other places I had never heard of.
TO BE CONTINUED…